The Divine FemiNest™ Podcast Transcript S:1 | E:2

Welcome back. So much has happened since the last episode. I'm so excited to share with you a huge miracle that has come through in my life and the life of my family. It is so, so big. I'm going to try not to cry as I share this with you.

So my birthday was a few weeks ago. I'm recording this on July 1st, 2024. My birthday is on June 7th. And the first week of June, I was doing a lot of different healing things. I have a lot of spiritual tools that I use. I have a lot of events that I go to…a lot of different exchanges that I do with other healers, and they're all really powerful. And I always see big things move in my life, especially when I gather with my close friends that are healers and we do this energetic work together.

So I want to share this one specific thing that I did so that you can see the correlation and see how much opened up after this one thing. There were, like I said, there were a lot of different things that I was doing during that week. So it was just a really powerful time of energy moving, but this was pretty cool. So I went to a breathwork class or group session, I should say. And at the beginning of the session, we all shared our intention, what we were there for, what we were there to release and let go of.

And I had also shared this with the facilitator beforehand. And so it was my turn to share and I just shared that I was feeling really emotional because I was going through the process of releasing a lot of things to do with my mom. Things that I was working through from my childhood and really those big painful experiences directly were caused and perpetuated by my stepdad.

And so what I was working through at this time was really just deeper layers of feeling like I wasn't protected and really being honest about the anger that I had which came out in that session. I didn't really realize that it was anger so much until this breathwork session but what I shared that I could just feel really intensely in my chest and my solar plexus and I began to cry as I just told everyone I've got to let her go.

I've got to let her go and like I said I was processing so many things for weeks and months really around all of this and I was really feeling like that meant that you know I might have to just surrender the relationship and go from there. Just let it go completely and then allow whatever was going to happen in the future to sort of determine if we would have a relationship or not. And as I was sharing this, I kind of drew a line right in front of me on my yoga mat.

And I said, I know that everything that I want is on the other side of me doing this. Everything that I want is on the other side of me releasing my mother. And so we went through the session. It was incredibly powerful. And we were guided to express what our anger felt like. And I didn't, like I said, I didn't realize that that's what it was. And I had this huge release. And afterwards I shared that I just felt like I was sort of swimming in this bowl full of jello.

That is how different the energy felt. I felt free. I felt like I could move more fluidly in my body. I felt held. I felt safe. I felt warm. It was incredible, the shift that took place in that short amount of time. And so, fast forward to the night before my birthday. I was feeling so much energy. Really, really good energy. I felt elated. I felt high. I felt ecstatic, excited. I felt surrounded by my spirit guides. I felt like I was in the middle of a huge celebration.

I felt the frequency of unconditional love. I felt like it was the most exciting moment ever. And I didn't know why. And I was communicating to a couple of my friends just how I was feeling. And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm just buzzing. I don't know what this is. But I just am so happy and every detail of everything that I'm surrounded by in this moment is perfect and it's meant for me and I just feel so amazing.

So the next day I ended up receiving a text message from one of my kids and that was a really huge deal because so my kids have been living with their father for the last year and a half. And we really are only able to communicate sometimes. It depends if he's letting us communicate at the time. And so I haven't spoken to them since February. So it's been like six months since we've talked. And it's been really challenging, really painful at first.

And I've had to really just surrendered again. And so I was quite shocked to receive this message. And basically I found out on my birthday that my kids had been allowed to go visit my mom, which is just a huge deal. They're not always allowed to talk to her. They have been recently, but my mom and the kid's father worked it out where they were able to go and visit for a couple of weeks. And so I got to go see my kids in Tennessee for a week. And I just got back a week ago.

It was absolutely incredible. It was the biggest shock of my life, the most beautiful gift. And so I want to share with you some of the details of this. And I want you to just keep in mind what I've been going through the last six months. So all of these things have been revealed to me about my childhood, really extreme, severe things that are very, very related to the type of challenges that my own kids have experienced in their life.

And so those things were coming through clearly, things I had to work through, working through a lot of forgiveness, and at the same time, not being able to communicate with my kids. I had also told my mom and my sisters I need some time to process some of these things from my childhood. And so really not having much communication with my family this year, 2024. And so like I said, working through so many of the emotions and processing, what does this look like going forward? And just sort of knowing that for now, in this moment, I needed space and time.

And knowing that I've got to release my mom, whatever that looks like, just surrendering to the process. But really feeling the sense of grief, like letting her go means that for right now, I just don't feel like we can have open communication. And so that was really painful. So once I found out from my son that they were with my mom, I communicated with her and she said, you know, we would love to have you come. And so I did it. I bought a ticket, flew from California to Tennessee in just shock and was reunited with my kids for the first time in over a year and a half.

And the frequency of love, healing, peace, acceptance, harmony, I cannot describe how beautiful this experience was. I experienced my mom in a way that I never have, ever. I'm 41 and the energy surrounding her, surrounding our communication was so different, so new, so pure. And the energy between me and my kids was as if literally no time or distance has passed.

We are very, very close. We have always been very, very close. And we have been in survival mode so much of our life together. And...we have formed these extremely close bonds and to be able to see how well they are doing, how grown up they are, but still the same. It's like time has almost kept them in this certain youthfulness. You know, I've been expecting that when I saw them they just would be...so different and it was literally like no time had passed at all. The most beautiful, beautiful thing. I'm laughing thinking about how the only thing that feels different is that their teeth have grown in. So my twins had all these teeth that had fallen out and that were different.

You know, that were, they had funny spaces in their teeth and they were always losing teeth and teeth were growing in the last time that I saw them. And so they have these beautiful smiles full of their grownup teeth and they're just so, so amazing. These kids are amazing.

So, I really want to emphasize the power of doing your own inner work. If you've been doing it for a long time and you feel like nothing's changing or you haven't seen something change in your life in a way that you've been hoping for. Know that many, many things are going on in the background. There is so much healing taking place. I'm telling you, I truly am still in awe at the changes that I saw in my own family members and in the energy between us. The ease, the peace, the grace, the love, the respect, the harmony, the harmonious energy that surrounded all of us was just such a gift.

And it doesn't mean that I'm not still working through the things that I'm working through. I had a beautiful conversation with my sister, who's about two years younger than me. And she said, you know, there are lots of people who are sharing their stories and they still have relationships with the people that they're sharing their stories about - with their family members, their friends, whoever hurt them.

And it was just such an incredible thing to hear from her. I haven't spoken about the details of these pains that I've been processing with my sisters, with my mom. It's just been too painful. And yet it feels like it's not even necessary. I can...continue to transmute this pain into beauty, into...something that helps others and I can also continue in this beautiful energy forward without blaming or perpetuating an energy of unforgiveness, guilt, shame.

All of this can be handled energetically. That's not to say that there's not a time and a place for open conversation because there is, but what I've seen myself offering in my work, what I've seen myself sharing with people, in my visions over the last couple of years is just approaching it from a new way. Really understanding that these huge traumas that we go through, sexual abuse as children, physical abuse, being separated as parents and children.

So many of the other things that I've already mentioned in the previous episode that I've experienced now that I have gone through in life. Trying to fix all of those things in a forceful way. And now that I have approached it energetically, I'm able to see the power of surrender. Surrendering to a different process. Surrendering to the power of my soul's plan for my life. Surrendering to the power of the universe to create openings. To create magic that is beyond the physical, to move time and space, to move energy, to change minds, to change hearts. It is possible. And that's what I want to share here. So I love that I experienced this tangible.

Where I was able to say out loud in front of a group of people, I know that everything that I want is on the other side of me releasing my Mom. And then literally a week later - on my birthday - finding out that I would get to see my kids and then being able to hug them and hold them a week later.

After that long of being apart and being torn apart so traumatically after living in survival, living in hiding for two years before that, being homeless, being isolated, scared all the time. Wow. So I'm calling this the first of the miracles. That's what I kept emphasizing to my kids as we did have to leave each other. And it was tough, but it wasn't traumatic. They are strong enough.

They have friends where they are. The dynamics between them and their dad has changed, has shifted. It's not to say that all the things that they've gone through are not really really difficult. But I believe that things are gonna continue to unfold in a way that I couldn't force, I couldn't plan for. And it's all going to happen in the way and the time that it's supposed to. So I am so grateful to have been able to share this with you.

I'm in a little bit of a...cloud, I guess, as I share it. I'm still, like I said, very much processing. I've only been back for a week. And now I use this as fuel to keep going, to continue working and to continue to uplift other people as so many of you are in situations that look and feel impossible. And it does take time. It takes patience.

I remember when this first happened and I was speaking to somebody about, you know, I was really in a panic. What am I going to do now that my kids are back with their father? This is a disaster. And someone said to me, it's a painful patience process, a painful patience process. And that is exactly what it has been. And there have been so many gems and so much beauty and so much goodness along the way.

But what we can't do is continue to try to force things that have happened, force things that we've done, force circumstances that have unfolded to just undo themselves instantly. We have to go through what we have to go through to get to the other side. We have to go through the pressure to create the diamond. That's the process that we've been in. So much pressure. So much pressure.

But the beauty that is coming out of it, the depth, the growth is absolutely incredible and it's irreplaceable. There's no way that my kids would be who they are today if they hadn't gone through what they've gone through. There's no way that I would be who I am today if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through. I'm still getting to the point where I could say, I'm just grateful for all of it because it's been hard. It's been intense. But I know that the days are coming where I will say it was worth it. It was worth it.

So thank you for listening. Thank you for your time. Thank you for holding the space, for your presence. May these stories encourage you, lift you up, make you feel hopeful, make you feel lighter. I would love to hear from you about what you're going through. I'd love to connect with you. And you can also reach out to me through my website, sironawest.com. If you would like to work with me, I offer Akashic Records healing sessions, which are very powerful. We can definitely move some energy in your life so that you can make the changes that you wanna make.

I look forward to talking with you next time. Namaste.